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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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jamboree , friends .

assalamualaikum.

yupp this statement . first happy and the second sad. I'm happy because finally I'm home after a week in the middle of jungle . hahha not really a jungle . only a camp site . and right now still have to rest . got new friends . hang out with new friends . yes I'm happy . but still have to work on with homework . hahaha . smile aiman smile . we'd done many things together so that we could get the batch . so great . hahah . actually about 4 month I'm not back home .maybe once a while . but I'm still happy because my ibu still need me home . yeahh . !! I'm not really sure that it a good reason to go back home . but I miss my family hhhuaaa . hihhihi . along a week . me still got a chance took picture . but my face all over the camera . just like an artist !! oh my Allah that's truely bad statement . remember Allah aiman , hhahaha . okay fine got stuck with stink and smelly from my body . only once in 2 days I'm went to bath . but I'm still okay with it . yeahh I'm a stinky boy . hahahah . enjoy the activities . I'm a dark boy . hahhaha . but still sad when I've to leave my friends . hhhuuaaa . but the memories still playing in my mind . hahahah . hope the vid and pic post in facebook or twitter amin inshaa Allah .

the second statement . alwee . my friends . but I do not really think that I'm a perfect and good person . no body perfect . but some person perfect when they work together to be the great . that's what we want in this friends relationship . alwee . I'm still a bad person . still got stuck with the sin . but I'm try to be a great friends in my life . even though everyone look at me 'such a jerk' . but I'm still a person who still have a heart to understand person . you still my great friends because you can help in in the way . there's a dream where you make me really realize of it and I'm really thanks to you my friends . but if you still on mad with me . try to cool down and do'a to Allah . Allah really understand us . because He the Creator of us . alwee please forgive me . and I'm really sorry for this statement . smile.



p/s : hahahah about the camp I hope that I could follow once agains .

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