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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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Assalammualaikum
Yes i'm at court in the early morning. 0633 am. Yes it is to great. Alhamdulilah i'm still breathing. Yes today is the last day at samura. There's nothing to say my words from me. But i only can tell you by writing it. I'm not even a great person to be respected. Just a boy who search for nur from Allah. A boy that always make mistake along his life. Playing with the feelings. So sad that i'm not even a happy and a great friend. But i'm still approaching myself to be the one i can. The one that always smile and happy. Enjoy day along. Playing with happiness. That's who i am. No more stupid unadorable person that who want his feelings been cared by to selfish to know others feelings. What you see,what you done,what you have accept the fact. Yes it's from Allah. Allah know the best from you. Haha. Allah the Greatest, always know anythings in our life. Aiman,Muhamad Noor Aiman Bin Bani. Your name has Prophet Muhammad name. You should be grateful because Prophet Muhammad is Allah lover. Your name meaning " Cahaya Bertuah Yg Terpuji " that's great name. Alhamdulilah. I'm still breathing until know. Thanks Allah. Thanks ibu and ayah. Thanks syaiful

p/s: enough babbling enjoy the Islam way

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