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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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Strong

Assalamualaikum
Alhamdulilah im still breathing in Allah world. yes Allah still me chance to spent my time with Allah . thanks Allah . okayy today im so wrecking out. after spent about 2 hours training to keep up my stamina,suddenly it all happen . mum said that im not eating this morning. dont take my breakfast.well not in the mood to eat that morning. and it all happen. i got my migrain back . erghhhh i hope this is a test from Allah for me. but what if this migrain become more worse?? okay accept it. smile. hahah . well im told him that i cant post any entry to my blog for about 3 days. then he laugh and he said that he read it but slightly. well act he complaint about it. well act i just want to talk in English . for what ?? well i want you read it. but if you dont want. what can i do . i just sit here and waving said that "i hate you" hahahha . okay act today my head just been hit by the rock . not a real rock . just a parable . hahah i cant walk do anything. i have to sleep back . so sad. i dont want but i have to. and you always laugh when im talking . it's just so annoying yet im like it. because you rather to accompany me that night. hahha . ibu said that im really miss the school . act not the school but my friends. ibu asked me at school im such a talkative boy right ? yes ibu. she knows what playing in my heart and my mind. im so in love with ibu. thanks Ibu. now im start to read back my books. miss them all. love you. hahha. well im just bought Malay novel, "JANGAN LUPA NAMAKU" and English books, "WHILE THE OTHERS ASLEEP" and "THE SEARCH FOR WONDLA" haha . love it. but start with BM first. one by one.



well orang tua very bad with me. well indeed i need him but he to bad. hahahha . well thanks. ppfftt you have to pay it back. ak ingt lagi cita kau tuhh . kononny brcerita an kau. dan masa tuu kjam sngat . hahah kau lahh geramny. sbb ap?? well tajuk cerita kau ponn dh mnyakitkn hati ak.. ppfftt Sotong Dan Batu. masa tuu ak rasa nk kluar smua ayt. tpi x baik kan . hahah . dsbbkn kau org tua yg ak hormati,kawan yg pling ak syg.ak x kluar smua tuhh . tapi mmg dh nk trkluar dh. hahha ak than jekk. well mmg batu mnng kan. tpi ak nk ckp. kekadang ap yg Allah bagitu bkn snng bagi org  yg mrasainy, org mmg ckp kau bole jadi keras x. bole x kau lelaki skit. bole x kau brubah. kena faham skit lahh perasaan org yg mnghadapiny. x smua org rasa tu mulut senang berkata. sbb ckp guna hati bukn ny rasional otak. mungkin ini ujian Allah. ya kita sbagai manusia kna lah reddha an qada' dan qadar-Nya. Allah tau yg trbaik untk diri kita. ak bknny x mncuba. tapi org asyik cakap mnyebabkan ak rasa ak mmg x bole sbb org hanya tau ckp tpi x prnah pon menolong. org pun mngkin x dpt nk trima jadiny ak snyap. kita merancang Allah yang mnentukan. ppfftt. sbnanrny ak bkn marah pun. ak dh biasa dh. ak tau kau akn ckp ap. 'Kesian' hahahha. ak kna juga berusha. tapi nk tutup mulut org bknny senang. tak pe lah selagi ak hidup kat dunia yg fana ini, hah kau falsafah. ak akn berusaha untuk teguhkan iman ak dan sentiasa mengingati Allah dan melaksanakan suruhan-Nya. insha Allah.


well and this date is really sad because. im just deactive all my social networking. act not all. hahha. he said "if you feel dont want to do it,just let it be" hahahha. it's so funny. yet im sad. really in bad sad. hahahah,well enjoy your becoming birthday okay!! i hope you are in pink of health org tua. almaklumlah dh tua nyanyuk plak tu kan . hahaha. im really miss you, im gonna find you whenever im very2 need you. BI jawa lahh katanya. hahhha. well farewell. eceeh mcm x jmpa langsung kan . insha Allah . mnalah tau kut2 mati kan?? ishh . okayy HAPPY BECOMING BIRTHDAY orang tua !! 25/12/13 not Christmas okay. and 28/12/13 will be my mum birthday. haha btw orang tua who ask me to do so. hahah. act he played with his words. i know okay.

p/s:be strong,be healthy,semoga Allah selamatkan kita. Senyum ^^

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