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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm...

Only

Assalamualaikum
Hurm alhamdulilah i'm still in Allah's given. Well hey i just want to say that it was only you who knows about it. No one else. A little hope is effective right? Well i'm thinking. When will it? Okay i know you just be mad for me. Haha okay cherish for today. Yes it is really hurt. You don't have to look at it if you don't want. What i want all this day is make my friends more cherish and happy. Like what i'm said before this. Giving present. Sit alone by riverside. Walking under the green trees. Hoping for it. Hey make them happy can make a cherish smile on my face. Haha stay on laugh. I know you always happy in your life. You have did it. Eventhough i cant but i love to give the others spirits. Well happily ever after do exist maybe. Insha Allah. No cry. But i dont promise anything. Haha miracle could happen. Yet believe in myself. I keep those word. Try to be strong. Okay that i promise. Hey. Smile. Haha that is my spirit. I dont like people who cant smile. I dont know that you read but indeed i believe that you know i post this message. Haha. Cherish today. Start day with smile and bismillah,full determination and finish our day with happy smile,alhamdulilah and satisfaction. Smile always ^^,
p/s:believe,smile,strong

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