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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm...

Peace

Assalamualaikum
Alhamdulilah still breathing today. In love with Allah. Believe it. Okay first i'm feel really guilty with you. Sorry for disturbing you. Sorry involve in your life. Sorry for make nonsense. Sorry for being annoyed with uou. Sorry that i can't understand you. I tried but you never told me. I'm always make you involve in my faith. Have a little faith. I should stop hoping right? Hoping you spends your time with me. Play around with me. Make me as a joke. Haha i love when you did like that because you know how to persuade me. Indeed you know i'm gonna failed ti back up myself. Heyy,i'm always believe in you. I'm always disturbing you. Tidy up myself and prepare to face the music. Hey i'm believe you always stand by my side. I believe that you always give me the spirits eventhough you never give a feedback to me. Haha okay always believe in Allah. Thanks a lot.

p/s:never stop believe.

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