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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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Indeed

Assalamualaikum
Yes know I'm still breathing in Allah worlds . yes same thought that never been faded away . sorry . indeed of sorry from you . because of I'm always make you felt my burden all this day. i'm such a stupido boys yaaww, okay now i'm feel really bored . i'm sorry . hahah . okay for the foremost I'm feel guilty because of my stupid action my dear friend. ergghh i'm felt sad . i need your shoulder. hahah okay nonsense . i'm felt that you must be so annoyed with me . because of my attitude maybe? yes same thought with the others people that knows me. I'm feel that this nothing feeling should fade away . but who i am emotionless?? aite ?? i hope that you never left me . when I'm thought about it back yes I'm too childish in this world . when I want to be more matured?? no more sad but always keep in touch with me friend. i know that sometimes you feel so bored when I'm talked with you.. I'm the one who always talk about my problems . i want sometimes you told me about your feelings to me .but it's okay . i'm the one who always fade with my problems and sadness. hahahah . such a feelings for me . this is who i am . I'm sorry for my wrongdoings for all those things . peace but not ever make up. stupid aite ?? nnyettt . everyday i will keep in touch with your recording . spent time 24 minutes to hear you talked . hahah same thought that i never ignored , tettt . I'm always remember about us . I'm sorry for the first time I met you . yet I'm denied your existent in my life . I'm too sorry my friend . sorry -_- . you should never did that . thanks a lot for all those thing gagaahha. yes you are my dad . hahaha . okay endless never met up . thanks a lot .

p/s: sorry i'm always disturbing you . always make you feel uneasy . make you feel so burden yet I'm gonna miss you smile ; )

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