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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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sejak....

Assalammualaikum

Alhamdulilah. yang paling utama.

masih lagi bernafas dan menghirup udara yang segar. pada hari ini sungguh damai dan berangin. ehemm. ayat macam baku habis. hahaha. hari ini merupakan hari yang entah yang ke berapa aku berada di UTMKL. lebih kurang 2 bulan aku berada di utmkl ni. dan ianya akan menjadi bulan yang ke 3 dan ke 4 dimana bulan akhir untuk sem 1.

like usual when we came into new places, the same things that came out from mouth is, learns new thing, meet new people, meet new friends, but yet do I miss my home?? yes I miss a lot. this is maybe my first time being far away with my family. what can i say that I should be proud cause I make it to this level. just need to be a little bit stronger cause Allah have give me the chances to repent and move on in this particularly world.

not everyone can done it. Allah choose His servants and give them the obstacles to make them more stronger in this world. the world is more cruel than others places. hahaha that is the truth ever in this world. we cant change what had been given to us. believe in yourself and be yourself. i think that i should just give them the chances if they want it. i dont really care about it at all. maybe yes maybe not. but Allah know the best for me.

Al - Baqarah 2 : 286
Al - Hujraat 49 : 10



belajar bukan untuk mengejar dunia. tapi belajarlah untuk akhirat. amalan dikumpul untuk ke syurga. Ya Allah Ya Rabb, berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menghadapi cabaran dan dugaan-Mu Ya Allah. aku bersyukur untuk mereka yang kau hantarkan kepadaku, yang sentiasa memberiku kekuatan, memberiku peringatan tentang azab-Mu, tentang-Mu Ya Allah, tentang Islam-Mu. biarkan yang pergi kembali kepada-Mu. gantikanlah yang terbaik untukku. terutama sekali kepada Ibu, Ayah, Abang Am. kepada kelas Teguh, kepada Budak Serom, kepada kelas Planner, kepada Angah, kepada Afif, kepada Yusuf, kepada Abg Faiq.

thanks for the way and everything.

Assalammualaikum.

p/s: keep moving forward. believe in yourself. be yourself. Allah always by your side. never stop learning.

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