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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm...
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Assalamualaikum
Alhamdulilah still touching this world and still breathing with the oxygen. Hurmm okay kindly. Im hurt. I cant feel anything. Only that. It's not i dont like you. Im feel that you always standing by my side. Better not. It make me feel more better. Yes just like he said that "it is not a wrong thing to hope for someone,but when someone that you always hoping for gone. Then to whom you want hoping then?"

I cut my mouth and then i said Allah and family. Then i recognized that i cant stand anymore. Yes im too childish. Im too stubborn. Yes he asked me why i always said sorry. Then i said im such a troublesome. I want it. To be friend with others. But it seem that better not. Being me,had enough to feel the stink around.
Then someone else sent me something. Yaa for me. I saw it and then i realized something. I just need to let everything go. Let go someone that we cared and loved. Living in this world with the people just like a little bit of ink. But when we look at our relationship with Allah. The ink just like the seas.

Never ended when we lost a little bit as long we have the seas. Even the seas cant bet Allah. Told and pray to ease my problem from Allah. That is better.

To mrs B a.k.a cute cat thanks for the pic. You want me always remember Allah. You want me always pray to Allah when im feel in trouble. To shida yes positive. Positive when im alone. It's far away more good. To syaiful. Im still want to contact or tell you. But when i hold the phone. Yes what for troubling people? For what? I dont want to tell you but i need to tell. i cant push you to feel it anymore. Ease me.

Assalamualaikum take care

p/s: sorry

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