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constant reiteration

Actually I don't even know why I feel all of this, why I feel this heaviness in my chest, like everything feels not right. The urge to just go beyond the thongs that is worse, it's worsening day by day. You know that's it's there in your head  the loudness in this silence. I know there's chances but I don't feel safe at all. I'm still trying, trying my best, and I know it's so stupid because I couldn't talk to anyone, like I was asking for the attention, like whatever I feel it's just another fool need attention.  I'm sorry that actually I try to reach everyone and yet I couldn't do that, I froze myself and the voices really loud in my head, I try to be there for anyone and yet I can't even hold myself, I lost my own grip to grasp the reality and stand where I standing. I lost everything, I just look at myself broken and shattered slowly, and I couldn't even do anything, what the fuck am I sad for? Like seriously I thought I'm
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assalamualaikum
alhamdulilah masih bernafas. yes. yes i am. i am a sucked. hahah. i was shut down all those social networking. maybe for my goodness. not maybe but it is a real goodness for me. heyy no more my lifeless duke in this world. hahah. even though some people think it might be hard for me. yes for now and ever stop it because it's make me more like no one. who am i? daaa no need to ask that to myself. hahah. baiklah mmg klau ikutkan ak sngaja nk buat smua tu, x nk buat yg lain risau. erti kata lain sakit hati. woohoo ngade kan. hahah well this is my life. yes my stupido and weirdo idea might be make people more sick of me.

persoalan adkah ak ni masih dianggap as friend? sbb mmg btul jgak ap yg dickpkan oleh kwan ak. and ibu skli. sbbny they told me that im been used. what? yes itulah knyataanny. hahah klau ikutkan mcm ngarut kan. kekdang ak sndiri x trfikir adkah ak buat itu btul ataupun salah. whip it. all those year, ak rsa mcm ak ni pretending jee. dan saat sekarang ak nmpak. smuanya maybe right? tapi betul ke itu ak?? imbauan msa kecik lahh kononny. tapi bila fikir balik yes mmg ak selalu happy, asyik gelak, asyik berjalan. well maybe maturity change me. puberty up and down. mature is an option.

sekarang sbb mlas lahh nak jalan tapi klau diajak nak aje. hahah. dan ak pendiam ke skrang? mungkin lah. bkn pendiam but mcm mlas gila nak bukak mulut. asyik berfikir. berfikir? ak rasa kau lebih kepada berangan memikirkan masalah. cheett mcm masalah negara. tapi itulah msalah ak. msa kecik ak selalu happy sbb rmi kwan, tanpa pengetahuan ak. ak digunakan. not all kwan ak. certain and let it be who know about it and whose the. ak mmg fkir mcm tulah gamaknya. so ak mmg push people around me.ak x bagi peluang dekat org. tapi msalah negara hati ak bila fikir balik . hahah. sukarnya ak yg rasa ak push org lain.

ak trlalu baik. dengan memberi barang mereka lebih rapat dengan ak. salah ak rasanya. mmg pun. hahah. sebab bnyk yg ak bagi sebb rapat. tapi ak x sedar bahawa dengan sesungguhny hanya untuk kehendak dan keinginan mereka sahaja. salah ke klau ak ni push people?? mungkin yes maybe not. deyy apakah yg sudh terjadi?? mengelabah?? menggelegak?? rileks sudah insha Allah semuany dipermudahkan oleh-Nya. what goes round comes round. itu lah ap yg ak rasa. when i need someone, i used them to make me happy, they feel my problems. but one thing that i shouldnt done before this.

dont care about others feeling. were they feel comfortable? were they happy? were they feel wanna kick my ass out of my head. hard to decide whether im a good people. suck a weirdo upside down with abnormal thinking. selfish. yes no more me. no more to declare this time. sorry guys. upside down. sake for Allah. now ak x buat pape pun. whatsapp? maybe a little bit. no wechat. refresh instagram. only that. nothing more. and for the foremost my blog. untk menjadi tatapan pembaca yg akn sakit hati dan bosan.

ak syg kan smuanya. ak cintakan smuanya. tapi mungkin ianya melebihi Allah. sbb tu Allah tarik sikit2,rsa cinta dan sayang ak kepada semua. ak syg dan cinta. ak terlalu baik dengan org. tanpa ak sedar ak hanya diperlukan kala hati sedang dirundung kemasalahatan. Ya Allah. maafkan ak.

assalamualaikum. maafkan diri yg khilaf. kala ak tidak ad lagi. senyumlah dn truskan usaha. kena teruskan juga hidup.

p/s: thinking whether should or shouldnt is the hack things ever.

Find your light
Don't hide from what you are
And rise before you fall
And hope for something more
Live if you really want to
Live if you really want to
All my life I've been looking for something amazing
It's almost like I've been stargazing
The sky is right above me
We were meant for something bigger than this
Don't ever try to dismiss yourself cause you don't have to
(Chorus)
All my life my dreams just seemed so far away
And now it's like theyre here to stay
I hold it close to me
We were meant for something bigger than this
Don't ever try to dismiss yourself cause you don't have to
(Chorus) x2
Live if we really want to
Live if we really want to
Live if we really want to
Live if we really want to
Songwriters
Williams, Pharrell L / Zaraai, Yunalis


Read more: Yuna - Live Your Life Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

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